Music- Come Undone by Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan
“I DO is an active state. It’s a positive affirmation. I am in control, and I move forward, toward a goal or a wish or a desire. There is no fear. In terms of a relationship, things are fine and peaceful. I am the good mother. I am generous and caring-the giver, the Provider. It is the “I Love You” no matter what.
The UNDO is the unravelling. The torment that things are not right and the anxiety of not knowing what to do. There can be total destruction int he attempt to find an answer, and there can be terrific violence that descends into depression. One is immobile in the wake of the fear. It is the view from the bottom of the well. In terms of a relationship to others, it’s a total rejection and destruction. It is the return of the repressed. I take things away. I smash things, relations are broken. I am the bad mother. It is the disappearance of the love object. The guilt leads to to a deep despair and passivity. One retreats into one’s lair to strategize, recover and regroup.
The REDO means that the solution is found to the problem. It may not be the final answer, but there is an attempt to go forward. You get clearer in your thinking. You are active again. You have confidence again. In terms of relationships to others, the reparation and reconciliation have been achieved. Things are back to normal. There is hope and love again. – Louise Bourgeois 2000